Monday, August 26, 2013

She Is Sucking Me Dry


My sweet, happy, joyful, almost 2 year old Emmy is actually a very needy child and really has been since birth.  Her wonderful bright personality often overshadows her intense need for attention and physical contact.

I wasn't going to write about this but this is exactly what is preventing me from blogging, being as productive during the day as I like to be, feeling a bit down, and what is causing me to be so tired. 

I also wasn't going to blog about this because I know that if I wanted to, I could do something about it so I shouldn't be complaining.

But then I read this.

For the past five days, Emmy has been nursing almost as much as a newborn during the day and maybe even more often during the night.  

My mothering instinct tells me that because she is especially needy, this would not be the right time to start weaning.  Also, if I tell her "no",  then a power struggle would follow and I am not ready to go down that road.

So one deep breath at a time as I continually remind myself that she really does need this for right now.

14 comments:

  1. It's good to know that there are other Mama's dealing with the same! Most of the Mama's I know have had an easy time weaning and it was mostly led by their little one. It doesn't seem like that will be the same way for us, and I've been struggling with what is the right answer. My little one seems to need it too, but I feel like I need a little bit more bodily space (and a lot more sleep!) Hoping you get some rest!

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  2. We need to blog about these things more often! I think there is unspoken pressure from the blogging community to take happy sunny photos of our children in beautiful handmade clothes and our healthy homegrown meals, and to only write about how awesomely we are doing as mothers.

    You're not alone. We all have craziness in our lives, worries about our children, wondering about their little personalities, feeling like we're losing our minds and our selves in the process of giving our children all they need from us.

    Keep writing about it! I find I get the most earnest and numerous responses to posts about REAL life...the challenges, frustrations, and crazy-making moments of motherhood!

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  3. I'm always so glad to hear about other mamas nursing toddlers. You aren't alone, and the work you are doing is amazing. Trust your instincts, & it will get better!

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  4. Oh Tonya, I totally understand. I've been here too! HUGS

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  5. I love this honest post. Thank you for sharing it - and know that as another large family mama I understand! :)

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  6. Being a woman without own children, I love reading things like that Tonya, for I can learn so much from you expirienced mothers about reality, things I would never know before I'll have children on my own. I am very grateful to read honest voices like yours. Best wishes!

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  7. I remember those days. Maybe she is undergoing a growth spurt or will suddenly be able to do something that she couldn't do a week or two ago, needing mommy love to get her over whatever hump in in her way. You will know when it is time to stop nursing and it will suddenly feel right. I have a very strong willed child and had to wait to wean until i knew he could handle not nursing and I could be strong enough to have the will to say no even if he wanted to nurse. Since he slet in our bed it was a difficult transistion when it finally did take place. I ended up in another bed for 3 nights and then had to wear a bra to bed for another week or two. But we did survive because i waited tho it was hard, until I knew it would be ok. Thinking of you, as always :)
    CathyT

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  8. i hear you, and i salute you for the courage to write about this. i have had to find real quiet these days, moments strung together of quiet so i can listen to my heart and find out what to do. this too shall pass, it really will.

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  9. Oh I want to come over there, give you a huge hug, say a prayer and make you some tea to sit and relax. I so feel for you!!! <3 <3 I couldn't agree more, nor could I add more to the comment above (knitty gritty homestead). Keep blogging about these things!! I have been struggling with my little guy and I feel like we are just now coming out the other side with nigh nursing. The world needs more "normal" posts like this beautiful one from all of us. XOXO

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  10. I just wanted to tell you that I understand. I remember those days. DD self weaned when she was 3. She has always been high needs in a wonderful way. I can say that now that we are 3 years removed from those sleepless days and nights, although it is still sleepless at times, as the high needs 6 year old needs little sleep and is often up till midnight and wants mama with her. Sending HUGS

    -Amanda

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  11. I remember feeling the same with my littlest chap when he was still night nursing every couple of hours when he was 2 1/2. We eventually weaned when he was 3, a decision I didn't take lightly but it did give us the chance to bond without nursing and helped me recover my health. You are doing the right thing for your child but it is tough, sending strength your way.

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  12. Your not alone :) My littlest guy has a much higher need for physical contact than my other children did and is just now (at 27 moths) peacefully accepting night weaning. Just last month he was nursing nearly every two hours all night. He is not yet ready to give up the breast during the day (and that's ok) but at at least I'm getting a little more sleep. I'm honestly not sure what's more exhausting, a high needs toddler or explaining (to a society in general that is constantly telling us push our children away) that my son needs this for a reason. And I am here, as his mama, to give him what he needs.

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  13. I almost never comment, but this post resonated with me. I have two kids (almost 5yo and 10 months), and all the time I hear "your kids are so awesome, they're so happy, etc." And they *are* awesome, sweet, happy kids, but they are also very intense children. My daughter nursed for 2.5 yrs so I know that while nursing a toddler is a wonderful thing, it can also be hard on mama for all kinds of reasons. My son is even more of a Velcro baby than she was--not just nursing, but so much of the time only mama will do. I know in ten years I'll probably miss all the sweet snuggles and the nursing, but sometimes it's still hard in the moment.

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  14. aww i so miss this, my youngest stopped fairly suddenly at 19 months , and he didnt want to be worn in a sling either from 13 months which is a shock as my elder 2 where a lot older, i thought it was a phase and he whould come back but he turned 2 last week , so definatly it was his time. enjoy every second and remember love makes the world go round xx

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