Monday, August 16, 2010

Quiet Reflection

I don't know if it is my nearly 41 year old self realizing that I am just about middle aged now; I don't know if it just that there is too much in my head; perhaps it is the pressure of much of our family's income reliant on my using the computer to sell our handwork. Whatever, "it" is, I am may never know. What I do know, however, is that I need to spend time in quiet reflection, waiting on God to make it evident what (if anything at all), I must let go of, or if I just need to be better organized, or maybe (this really could be it), I need to get my priorities in order so that all else will fall into place. This unsettled feeling inside me has been distracting and this simple life just doesn't feel so simple right now.
Thank you to all the readers here for your kind words and sharing.

The Handmade Holiday will be back next Monday.

Warm wishes for your week.



  1. Hi Tonya,

    The World is too much with us, sometimes! What you are feeling is very normal for all of us women. We are the heart and soul of our homes. We give to everyone always, making ourselves last. There are times when we need to stop for a God refill. Take some time and rest. You've earned it!


    Matty (who once had four children at home, went to school full-time, farmed and, oh, did it mostly alone!!)

  2. I could not agree more. I work full time, work a part time job, both of which I love but I find myself having to find moments to just be and as of late that has become pretty tough to do with the frequency at which I need it to be.

    I wish you peace and time to just be :)

  3. wishing you peace, sweet mama! i think we can all relate to having these feelings from time to time. may the respite you seek bring just what you need. xoxoxoxo

  4. As a mother, balance is sometimes hard to find in our busy lives filled with children and commitments. A little time to "be" always helps me. Wishing you kind thoughts and peace.

  5. You are doing the right with the cadences and rythyms of nature and the earth. For me it is feelings of guilt that upset my balance and throw my pace. It comes stealthy and quietly whispering words like "you should be...(bigger/better/more this/more that)" Words that suggest I'm not enough. But take a deep breath and find your self and give it some tender love. You are so sensitive and instictive Tonya and supportive and supported by many.

  6. I think a lot of us battle with this...just as the wise women stated above, we give so much of ourselves...willingly, of course, to our families that we seem to lose track of who we are....our desires, needs,...things that seem so little, but really, are part of something so much bigger.
    you'll find your way, dearest! Maybe a quite hour or two journaling out by a creek, beach, or in the forest would be rejuvenating?
    many hugs and warm wishes to you..

  7. I sometimes call this feeling; "Life Happens" moments. Usually it is if I am tired or stressed that I feel out of sorts. Take a nap and put the things that truly matter back in order. Of course pray for God's guidance and I'll bet you begin feeling more organized, have your priorities in order and set your mind at ease.
    As an added note; I began taking a magnesium suppliment( powder mix from the health food coop and with in a week I felt better, not so tired or stressed, maybe you are lacking and need a supliment of some sort. Just a thought, as we age we don't assimalate nutrients as well*sigh*
    Praying for you friend, HUGS

  8. Oh dear mama...enjoy your break! Take some time out to breathe, connect with God, and enjoy that beautiful family of yours! I think every person from time to time feels what you're feeling...we all need to take the time to "listen" to what the universe has in store for us...sometimes things just don't feel right...we get overwhelmed and bogged down and stressed out! I hope you can enjoy a week of abundant peace and find the answers you seek! We look forward to your return!
    xo maureen

  9. Warm wishes and positive thoughts sent your way. You truly provide so much for your family, your readers and clients. I think I can understand the pressure of the push and pull. Stillness and quiet are so helpful in the process of "righting ourselves and identifying what we need". May you find all that you need. Peace, Angela

  10. I know how you are feeling, Tonya~ love and peace sent your way~
    Melanie <3

  11. Tonya,

    Oh..I know what you are feeling. I homeschool both our daughters and daily housework ...we have a Etsy account that I try to add to...because I really want to be able to bring in a little extra income.....but I don't want to be on the computer all day.... looking for new ideas.

    Sometimes that simple living just doesn't feel simple anymore.

    Our computers have not been working very well lately and we started to notice how much we depend on them with daily living....both of my daughters have blogs and make extra money from their ads....yes, the computer world has changed our life...but I think for the better:)

    I will be praying for you!!!!!!


  12. Oh Tonya I know exactly how you feel!!! I am such a busy mama of two plus this pregancy plus it being 100 degrees plus 100% humidity does not make me a happy mama! A break from it all feels good sometimes, and of course re-connecting with God in your role he is giving you here on earth. Of course it should be being a wife, a mother and buildin up your homesteading ministry, but as a lot of Christian mamas out there know the *Proverbs 31* mama is a hard shoe to fill. I read the bible and pray about what God wants me to be focusing on and of course I ask for strength and energy to get what needs to get done in any given day. And this is all with out a farm and business!! I will pray for you, but I'm quite sure of it (and so is God) that you will make it through any uncertainy and stress you might be feeling ;) Take care of your self hun! ------ and 41!!1 Wow I thought (through random pictures on your blog) that you were much younger!! I'm a little half as old as you are!!! Does that make you feel old? j/k!


  13. You sound like you already DO have your priorities straight but, judging from some of your posts, you are doing too much. Sometimes when we want life to be a certain way, we try to control too much of it and it's the stress of maintaining that control that eventually does us in. I'm not a particularly good delegator -- are you? Try to give away some of what you do to someone else and see if you feel any better.


  14. I had that feeling a lot this summer - it can be quiet overwhelming. I hope you find your rhythm and a nice pace to trot along to. I am in awe that you homeschool ... I'm afraid my 1st grader is going to surpas me this year - ha ha! Blessings to you - I'm so glad you stopped by my blog so now I can keep visiting you ;-)

  15. Enjoy your quiet time. I needed some time away from the computer too this summer - so i fully understand.

  16. Your post puts me in mind of the conflicted relationship I have with the computer. It has certainly made some tasks easier and more efficient, but oh, all of that screen time! How can that be good? And while it speeds up some jobs and even creates opportunity (like working from home, connecting with like-minded people, finding inspiration), it has also created this sense of trying to do even *more*. As a culture, we're not terribly good at being still. And sometimes we need the quiet of stillness to reconnect with what nurtures our spirit.

    Wishing you peace...

  17. And that photo is so beautiful and soothing. It has a quiet sense of expectation to it. Wonderful :-)

  18. As the others have said... all us mothers experience this feeling at some point... I do think it is God's way of giving us a nudge to sit back and re-focus a little.... so take his hint and I hope you are feeling morepeaceful soon,

    Big Hugs, Jenni

  19. Dear Tonya, You know I understand much of what you are saying. And you probably notice I get much more quiet at times also. I hope you are feeling some peace, I know you will find your way.
    With love, Renee

  20. The "simple" life is in some ways more complex than going with the flow of the mainstream. We underestimate that factor. Being self-employed, though extremely satisfying, can be a lot of work (I have been at various points and will always at least partially be.) Doing so on top of raising and homeschooling six kids? Give yourself your quiet time. You need it!

  21. I'm convinced it's the strange seasonal changes we're having this year. Hope you are able to work through it and find peace~