Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Beautiful and Messy

Life consists of both the amazing and wondrous moments filled with gratitude and happiness and then other times life takes you down the road of suffering and sadness.

I am so thankful that in this human life we get to experience such a wide range of emotions.

At the end of November I suffered a miscarriage and it was not only sad but scary because of some severe bleeding which required an emergency room visit. I was nine weeks along and had spent the previous six weeks feeling very sick and tired but at the same time hopeful.   The following two weeks, I took  the time to grieve, to let me body heal and to wonder, pray, and be grateful for all that I have been given.  When just a week after the hospital visit, Mike asked me if I thought I was depressed (like maybe I needed help or something), I almost smacked him.   Geez!  Isn't ok to just be down for awhile.  I think that so much of our culture sends the message that we should be entertained all the time, minimize pain, not have to work too hard, etc...

Anyway,  I am doing much better and am loving this beautiful season.  (Our business has slowed to a trickle now which is a blessing after a crazy few weeks.)

My mother and her husband visited this past weekend.  They live in Connecticut and we don't see them very often so it was a special time and we had everyone here for dinner on Friday night.

Which leads me to the next bit of exciting news - Thomas and Sam are engaged!  They are planning to marry on May 30th right here at our humble homestead.

So much goodness and even though life gets messy sometimes, the beautiful always returns.


  1. So sorry for your loss; I have been there, as well, and know the loss is devastating. Sending healing your way!

    Wonderful news about Thomas and Sam! What a terrific match! And, another daughter for you! Lovely!

    Enjoy this lovely season. Hold close those you love. Merry Christmas!

    1. Merry Christmas to you Matty! Thank you for all of your love and support of our family over the years.
      Yes! I am so excited that Sam will be a forever part of our family.
      Love, Tonya

  2. Dear Tonya,
    I am so very sorry to hear of your loss! I thought something was going on. I am sending you love and peace and huge hugs!
    And on the happier note, congratulations on the upcoming marriage!
    Happy Christmas and New Year to you and your family,
    Love Mel

  3. I'm sorry to hear about your loss Tonya. I'm glad that you are feeling better. I hope you continue to enjoy this Christmas season with your family. Happy news about Thomas and Sam! Hugs to you, Sarah xx

  4. I am so sorry for your loss. I agree that grief is natural. I am glad that your Mother is able to visit. It is good to spend time enjoying family. Merry Christmas. Congratulations on the the engagement.

  5. I wasn't sure if you knew that Yarn Harlot made your Gnome and showed it on her blog. Wow! I thought was so awesome!! She found it on Raverly : )

    I will be praying for you! It hurts my heart of your loss. I hope you and your family have a Very blessed and Merry Christmas!!! I can't wait to see all that is in store for you in this New Year!! So exciting!!!!!


  6. I am very sorry for your loss. God bless you and your family in this Christmas season.
    How lovely that spring will bring a wedding.

  7. Tonya, I am so very sorry for the loss you have experienced. Please know that you are in my prayers, and will continue to be for the coming weeks. I hope you are able to find the joy in this season. Sending you warm hugs, Rachel

  8. Tonya, my heart goes out to you. What a horrible time it must have been for you, to experience such a tragic loss at a time when your Etsy shop was going crazy too. You are right that sometimes it is inevitable, and perhaps even desirable that a person should feel a little down. Sometimes you just need a while to grieve, be quiet, and recoup. I agree completely that our culture is afraid pain, and of emotions in general. It is unhealthy to run from your emotions or take a pill to squash them. I am glad to hear that you allowed yourself a period of grieving without feeling guilty about it.

    And now, Christmas is here, and another wedding is on the horizon! I'm happy for you that you are feeling better and counting your blessings. Merry Christmas, Tonya!

  9. I'm sorry--I thought I left a comment, but I think it didn't go through-. I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I'm not sure if that made it harder or easier, that it was such a busy time for you, too. It must be hard to give yourself the space to grieve when the crazy holiday busy-ness with your shop is happening. But I'm glad that things have slowed down now and there is a wedding coming up. Thinking of you and your family and wishing you a Merry Christmas. <3

  10. So sorry for your loss hun. May God's blessings abound in the new year toward you and yours.

  11. "The beautiful always returns" , what a lovely way to put it. So very sorry to hear about your miscarriage, l went through the same at about the same number of weeks. I think you are right about society not realizing that it's OK to be down for a while. It's life, and it's a bumpy ride sometimes. But "beauty always returns". Congrats on the coming wedding! Warm thoughts, Pam xx

  12. Just catching up with you and very sorry to hear of your loss. I've been there too, and my heart aches for you. It's very good to take as much time as you need to grieve. xo -Jaime