As I grow through my peaceful parenting group meetings, my way of thinking continues to shift. I understand better how punishing may lead to compliance only to avoid the punishment or the behavior may still happen when the child knows he won't get caught.
Aren't bribes really the easy way not the right way? If you don't hurt your brother today, we can go out for an icecream tonight, for example. What is being learned - absolutely nothing good.
Rewards generally result in the child exhibiting the "wanted" behavior for the praise, the "A", or the money.
To love and support our children to become the person they can fully be and are intended to become requires parents reaching their children's hearts - unconditionally - even through the struggles, the "acting out", the disappointments.
Isn't that really what Jesus is about? That although we are sinners his grace and love are sufficient for ALL.
I am working on applying this way of thinking to my role as mom. (and really to all relationships)