I have not been taking on the duties of a new mama gracefully. My words have not always been kind and building up, my mood often grumpy. The children's homeschooling, the house, and then we have this full time home business that I am an integral part of.... Oh, what about the animals and cooking and baking? I have shed tears each day wondering how I can ever meet everyones' needs and all my duties.
Our beautiful new gift from God, sweet Emmy, is a baby that desires to be held a lot - which I understand and carry her around on the front carrier as I go about our day. But, she also has periods of intense crying where the only solution is to hold her "just so" and walk around and around until she calms herself down. Thankfully, this is usually in the evenings, between the hours of 7:00 - 10:00 pm. Practicing gratitude during those moments is what gets me through. I remember how grateful I am to have a healthy baby, that is growing and gaining weight and now smiles back at us. I also think about how much her brothers and sisters love her and truly enjoy holding her and spending time with her.
We bought a pacifier yesterday to see if that might help, something our babies have rarely used. Last night she didn't want it, but we may try again.
Even before the birth of Emmy, I had been praying for some balance to my life, that God helps me to prioritize and find peace within my too filled brain.
So, for me - I need to -
1. Spend time in prayer and reading the Bible each morning
2. Put my husband and children before all us - get the homeschool planning done before wrapping up the business orders, for example.
3. Care for our home - keep it neat and tidy and organized but don't fret over the dust and that for one day the laundry piles grows instead of shrinks.
4. Remember that this is a season in my life and to enjoy the seconds as they pass so quickly; that the moments are all I have.
5. Don't worry if I am not facilitating as many creative seasonal projects as I like to - The truth is I didn't even ask the children if they wanted to carve pumpkins, I was hoping they would forget. But yesterday afternoon Sarah remembered and how could I possibly say no...
Thank you Ginny for writing truthfully yesterday. I know that I am not alone and there was one comment that really helped me to keep it all in perspective -
Sarah wrote, "- the MOST important thing you can give you children is that sweet little brother. Life may be overwhelming now, but Silas is a more valuable gift than all the messy crafts and math lessons in the world. Sleep will come eventually and until it does, slow down, savor the sweet baby and the turning leaves. Read to all the kids, snuggle your sweet little boy, and enjoy this short season. It will pass and your rhythm will return...."