Thursday, March 12, 2015

Loving More

 Life is short - really just a blink of an eye in the scope of things.

At 45, this realization has become more intense.  There have been more reminders lately of just how precious this one life is.

When Mike was undergoing his double hernia surgery, the anesthesiologist found a lump in his throat.  Actually, he cut him as he was sticking the tube down.

The feeling that I had when the surgeon told me about this after his surgery was overwhelming. 

It turns out after a CT scan, that the lump looks benign, but Mike will be seeing a throat specialist next to probably talk about surgery to remove it as it is about an inch in diameter.

That week between the surgery and the meeting with the doctor was one where my senses were elevated - where I appreciated even more each moment.  

I cried out to God to please heal him as our relationship had only recently been one of mutual intense love and respect.

Our relationship has reached the best it has ever been - ever - we have both grown so much thanks to the grace of God.   What an amazing design that of husband and wife and when it is realized as God intended - what a gift.  (It was not always this way as we have had long struggles that are too personal to go into here but there were many, many times when I was ready to give up.)

I am so grateful now to have this time with Mike - to feel loved by him and to love him - God is good.

If you are in a hard spot, just remember that God is faithful and even though His timing may not be yours, there is a plan and a purpose.  I thank God that I hung in there and stayed faithful to my marriage.

We are hoping that we can encourage other Christian couples by sharing our story.  We will be hosting a twice per month Sunday evening potluck at our home using Matt Chandler's new study, The Mingling of Souls.


  1. Tonya, in the midst of such a(nother) terrible struggle with my husband, your message here is so important to me. In reality, the fact that I do not make him happy is so often thrown in my face, that I really can´t stand it anymore. He tells me that he thinks about leaving me everyday, and yet he is still here, and I still have faith that we can somehow work through this. Deep sigh. Thanks, Tonya. Best of luck to Mike and the whole family. Homeschooling, whole living, farming, family business -- it´s a lot to handle. Light and love to all of you.

  2. Tonya, your post is so heartfelt, thanks for sharing. My prayers go out for you and your husband. Marriage is hard and after 30 years, I know a good marriage has its ups and downs. I hope yours continues in the up mode.

  3. Thanks for sharing your story. It is always neat to hear how God is working in people's lives. May your time of encouraging others go well.

  4. Very bad times and a great health crisis brought my husband and myself very close together. God has the power and the love to answer prayers and change lives. Blessings, Pam

  5. Oh, I feel your heart today. My husband and I have been married almost 37 years and have only been best friends and extremely happy for about the last 7 years. January of last year he had a heart attack and I knew then how many years had been wasted. Praying for you today and for healing for your husband.

  6. He is faithful Tonya!!!! He is! I will keep your husband in my prayers ... You are not alone. mari

  7. In the 50's and 60's divorce was rare. My parents had hard times together, but they said there were 7 reasons why they stayed together...and then they named each of us 7 kids. You have to keep your eye on the "finish line" and not quit (unless there is violence in a marriage of course). There often is an "innocent" partner in the marriage that has divorce forced upon him/her, and this is a heavy cross for that person to bear.

  8. Tonya, Something I really appreciate about you is how much you share the realness of your days - thank you for that. You guys are in my prayers. And I think it's really great that you & Mike are stepping out to share with others what you've learned - I wish we lived closer! Take care ~ Annie

  9. Oh, Tonya. What a frightening and confusing time that wait must have been. Surgery is stressful, let alone adding other unknowns into the mix. My heart goes out to you. You are in my prayers.

  10. These, I believe, are truly the best years of our blessed lives. (Most of) our children are at home, our homes are full of noise and laughter and discipline and teaching. We have our husbands by our side and lots of goals and busy-ness we hope for in the future... It is something to savor everyday!

    (I know this isn't exactly what your post was about but your words brought those thoughts to my mind for some reason so I shared them ;) ).

  11. Bless you for your honesty and openness! What a beautiful gift in this world of false facades and ego. xo