Sunday, September 22, 2013

Love First and Why Aren't Christians Focused on That

Poppa reading to Emmy

I have a hard time when pastors claim that a sure sign of the downfall of society is the acceptance of same sex relationships.   It happened again this morning at church.    (I do believe that homosexuality is not God's design  but by making this sin an "agenda" breeds hatred and separation.)    Haven't they noticed the prevalence of violence?  The family structure breaking down?  (children left with screens instead of parents)   Have they noted that divorce is accepted and celebrated like marriage?  Have they seen all those in need that are not getting their needs met? (basic needs like good food) 

What I am trying to say is that same sex marriage is the least of our worries as Christians.   Our pastor mentioned how it is becoming obvious in the public school systems, this downfall - when children read books with parents named Anne and Mary (I forget the actual names he mentioned).  


As a parent, when I am looking through the children's books at the library I have often come across books where the children go to their Dad's house on the weekends and their Mom's house other times (children of divorce) and tears will often come to my eyes as I remember the hurt and sadness of being a child when my parents divorced.  Sometimes, too, I will come across a book about a family with two Dads or two Moms and I may cringe a bit and wonder but I never feel sad.   There is no hurt there.  If the two parents are loving, committed to one another then their children probably don't feel anywhere near the hurt, confusion, anger and sadness that children of divorce feel.


I don't hear the Christian church preaching about divorce.  Do you know that Jesus spoke very clearly about divorce but never spoke of homosexuality?  I can find 12 verses in the new testament that speak of divorce and only two that mention homosexuality.   Where should we be focused - building up and supporting family or focusing on a small minority?  I believe we should be focused on supporting other families by showing them Christ's love through our actions because society is going to be a lot more broken when children are not brought up in loving homes than they will be in a home that happens to have two Dads.


Mike just told me that Pope Francis talked about this recently so I did a Google search and found this - 
"Some mass media articles make it sound as if Pope Francis is saying abortion, homosexual behavior, etc. are okay. When they make that sort of claim, they really miss Francis' point," said Sheeran. "Before anything else, the Church, and every Christian, must take as their model the loving, forgiving, Jesus. We must preach the love of Christ in season and out. That's the Good News."
Sheeran also told CP that he was "delighted" that Pope Francis was calling upon Christians "to focus above all on the loving mercy of Jesus for every one of us sinners."
"The Pope wants us to put first things first. What comes first is that Jesus loves all of us even when we sin. A heavy emphasis on homosexuality and abortion can sound like I'm focusing on other people's sins and ignoring my own," said Sheeran. "Trained in Jesuit spirituality, Francis emphasizes that Jesus dwells in every soul, dwells there even in the midst of our sins. First and foremost, Jesus loves. His love nudges us to a better life. So it's a mistake for Christians to focus on sin when it's Jesus' love that comes first."
From Christianpost.com

25 comments:

  1. Love this post, Our Church is currently tearing itself apart over this issue - congregations are leaving and splits occurring, and in my opinion, they are completely missing the point - what and who the church is for. Christ came for the outsider and marginalised, showing love to everyone including the sinners and outcasts. We need to love each other more xx

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  2. Yes, Yes, Yes. My favourite saying is "Where there is Love, there is God. And where God is, there is Love". So many Christians were very vocal with their condemnation of 'gay' marriages in our recent election and it bothered me. Where was the love?
    I love your blog.
    from Heather, in Aust.

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  3. I agree with you, although I do feel that liberal Hollywood is trying to shove homosexuality down our throuts. The church to me (I can only speak of my congregation) should be preaching about a lot of other things. One of them being our personal finanaces. Our own pastor just filed bankruptcy, I am not judging but I have a problem with that. I believe the bible is very clear on money issues, which to me also have to deal with societies need for more and more material things. People are not raising their children to be content with staying home anymore it is just a disgrace, and it has been going on for years, just like homosexuality. Finances play a huge part in why a lot of marriages are falling apart.

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  4. Good post. We need to focus on what we have in common instead of what divides us and carry the love of Christ to all. I so agree with you about the pain of divorce and break down of the family. As a school teacher, I see the sad results of family dysfunction and breakdown every day. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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  5. We are told to love the sinner, not the sin. It is a very thin line to me then, to love someone who is gay and support them in their marriage. I think that is really where the problem is. Most Christians, I want to believe, have no problem loving a person who is gay, but when they are told they must support them in their lifestyle or be charged with discrimination...well then folks get upset. Although I am not Catholic and so do not live by what the Pope says, I do believe God is speaking through Pope Francis. All Christians must wake up and stop with the LEGALISM in the church. That, is what I believe is truly tearing the church apart.
    Yes, Jesus came for the outsider, hung out with them in fact, but even Jesus make it clear to them and us, to stop sinning and walk with him.
    blessings, jill

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  6. Really good posting. I like to keep my "religion" simple. I think Christ was an excellent role model and He makes me want to live a Christ like life...therefore a "Christian Life". I call myself a Christian because I believe in focusing on the kind of way He lived. What amazes me so much about the vehement arguments at the moment is that religion has been as old as the hills and so has homosexuality. It is not something newfangled and recently invented. If we hadn't tied our lives up in so many laws and litigious ways we wouldn't need to be making such a pointed assertion for same sex couples. They have always been there and always loved but now it seems they need laws to protect them because we have created laws that lock them out. We use our laws to decide who is next of kin and deserving of a bed side vigil and who owns the property of the relationship when one partner dies. It is our society that has created this need for recognitions that once were always there anyway. This is where the lines blur between religion and State. I certainly do not judge homosexuality as a sin - is it a sin for someone born with a club foot to limp? Is it a sin for someone born deaf to speak with muffled tongue? Homosexuality is no different to being born with freckles or bucked teeth, it is NOT a choice of sin nor is it "anyone's fault". As I said a great post and lets just love each other and use our common sense.

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  7. Thanks so much for this post, Tonya...I came to the USa from Italy three years ago from Italy and I am Catholic. I had a hard time at first to adapt to gay and lesbian families so open here in NH. But, as in many other things, I had to change my attitude greatly. I work in a small Waldorf school in Maine where we have a few same sex families. loving families. Nurturing families. Learned families. Who am I to say no, if Jesus himself never judged? Besides, my own condition is far from being pure and far from sin. I am so glad Pope Francis is talking, more or less openly about these themes. And I,like you, think that the church should refocus on something more important. Much love to your family

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  8. well said, Barefoot Crofter. I was very encouraged when I read the news article regarding the Pope's recent comments...I believe he truly "gets it" as do you. Thank you for a very thoughtful and Christ-like post.

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  9. very thoughtful and Christ-like post. Thank you. I was very encouraged to read the Pope's recent comments in the newspaper.This sad world desperately needs us to love as Christ did.

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  10. I teach the children that are shunned through both divorce and because of their homosexuality. They are the same as any other child. Looking for safety and acceptance. I appreciate your words. A child doesn't ask for either and yet they bear the brunt of it. They are just kids looking for guidance and acceptance.

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  11. I love this post. I have been struggling with the same issues. Seems as if we are too busy excluding others rather than inclusion/love/forgiveness. I am so happy that the Pope talked of the same thing. I am nobody's judge.

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  12. While I don't believe homosexuality is God's pet peeve, it does become a force of division in relationships (like divorce) for which God knows there are consequences.

    A man who loves another man or a woman who loves another woman, creates a design of relationship, God did not give place for teaching in the bible about. People seem to associate the absence of references to homosexuality in the bible, as permission - but God focused his teachings on the relationships he designed instead.

    Perhaps that's what the churches should be focusing on? I do not envy church leaders though. They need to walk a fine line between teaching a caution against unholy things entering the church (even Paul did this) and the unconditional love of Jesus.

    I think Paul succeeded in conveying the struggle of being a Gentile who believed in God, in a world that had its own ideas of God. This is the predicament the various churches are finding themselves in today.

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  13. I have often thought about what little focus there is on love in a lot of churches. It makes me sad and deeply frustrated. Christianity is all about love and only through love can we ever hope to win people for Christ. I grew up in a Salvation Army family, l live to far away to participate now, but l love William booths motto: Soup Soap and Salvation. Love, kindness and caring for and about oneanother must always come first. Pam xx

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  14. What we must remember is sin is sin. There is not different levels of sin. In God's eyes killing is the same as telling a lie. They ALL seperate us from God. Which is why we need Jesus. We must first hear, Romans 10:17, Matt. 7:24-27
    Believe Hebrews 11:6, Mark 16:15-16 (Not faith only James 2:24, John 12:42)
    Repent Acts 2:38, 17:30, Luke 13:3
    Confess Matt 10:32-33 Acts 8:36-37
    And be baptized Romans 6:3-5 Mark 16:16 (there is many more)

    A Christian marriage is one man and one woman for life. Anything else is wrong. That means man and man = wrong. Or man and woman getting divorced other then cheating. Then the innocent party is free to remarry but the cheater is not. It also means more then one wife is wrong.
    I am a member of the Church of Christ the church that you read about in the book of Acts. The church that Christ died for. When we start sentences like "I think or we believe'' this is also wrong. The sentence needs to be the bible says then giving book chapter and verse. The bible tells us this. And just because the bible is silent on a topic does not mean it is ok or for us to do as we see fit. If one wants to hear the truth and not watered down they need to find their local church of Christ.

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    1. Christ died for us all, not just for members of the Church of Christ.

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  15. When love becomes our focus, everything else becomes unimportant. I follow Christ..not a church, nor a preacher. I don't condone the sin, but I do love and show how Christ has changed me, by loving the one that is sinning. I often wonder what Christ truly thought about this issue. ... I am sure it will be different than the way we seem to handle it. Excellent post Tonia! I agree completely what Tanya shared here in the comment section. To live a Christ filled life is very different from what is preached from pulpits and what others say Christians should be like.

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  16. Thank you busy little bee. I too am conservative Christian who attends church of Christ and choose to live by scripture as it is written. There are no exceptions for certain kinds of sin and you better believe it. I teach my 5 children what a godly marriage is and what it is not. There will be no divorce without adultery no marriage of same sex allowed in this him. I choose to be kind to all people but if a same sex couple walked into my church I did be walking out. I choose the narrow path.

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    1. Jesus taught to love our neighbor as our self, not love our neighbor only if he looks and acts just like us.

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    2. Yes, Jesus taught us to love our neighbour as our self but not love the sin...there is a huge difference there. I find it interesting that, while legitimizing homosexuality and adultery, bit by bit the traditional family is destroyed. If we don't live according to God's norms there is chaos, including divorce. A good read would be "The Way Home - Beyond Feminism Back to Reality" by Mary Pride.

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  17. Tonya, I'm sure this wasn't an easy post to write. I'm not a Christian by faith, but I can certainly agree and say Thank You for Love First. Amen.

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  18. I could not agree more, Tonya. It's easy to look at the speck in someone else's eye. It requires no effort, which is probably why it is so popular with many churches. The self-sacrificing love of Jesus is much harder to live out.

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  19. Because of Christ's LOVE for us he voluntarily went to the cross to die for our SIN. Not what we think or feel is SIN...but what His Word says is SIN. Jesus openly condemned sexual SIN.....the Apostles strongly condemned sexual SIN...adultery, fornication (sex outside of marriage), and homosexuality. His original design for marriage was one man, one woman in a long term (permanent) faithful relationship. Satan always strives to pervert God's plan or design.

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  20. I think it's also all about perspective. I started reading your blog last year. I think then you were attending a Quaker meeting. Quakers here in Montreal seems to have a very different point of view on gay families.
    We are, my wife and I, married by the state and the church. As long as no body you love is gay, it is quite easy to reject them and dictate hownthey should live. But would you shun your own child ? Your own sister ? Jesus had the courage to stand next to the most rejected members of society, the ones that weren't aloud even to visit the synagogs... This is what our family remembers. And for all the haters out there, don't bother, we won't read your comments, we prefer reading our bibles. Have a good day Tonya and we'll keep reading you.

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  21. Sometimes I will read your posts and there is this flicker inside of me that wants to re-explore my faith. My faith has been dying for years. Too many hypocrites in the religion, too much hatred.

    But sadly I never explore it. I end up reading something like a few of the comments on here or somewhere else and lose my interest. I just can't bring myself to be associated with such people. I'm fully aware that not every christian is like this. But its tough to separate the two when the hateful ones seem to be the loudest.

    -Anna


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    1. Anna...as a follower of Christ, I can share, that I feel the way that you do. I love Christ. I don't condone the attitudes of others. I feel that love came from Christ...The Father gave His Son for us. It doesn't matter if we are corrupt or not. He died for all of us.

      But how then, can we share Him, if we allow ourselves to be persuaded by so much misconception and anger. We are all sinners in the eyes of God. We are all the same in HIS Eyes, when we don't see Christ as who He is. How sad that the loudest tend to be the ones that spew the most hatred.

      I pray that you do go back and begin to explore your faith. That you allow the Christ of the Bible be your guide not people that use this forum to spread so much anger. Go back to HIM that loves you and knows who you are. All the others are just noise!

      Sorry I used this forum Tonya to share. But this topic is so close to my heart. I don't care for the sin of anyone. I am a sinner myself. But I do love the sinner. Christ taught me that!

      Thank you Tonya for opening this forum and having the courage to be used for His Glory.

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